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You are here: Home / Blog / What Do Kids Want from Their Parents During a Divorce?

What Do Kids Want from Their Parents During a Divorce?

January 19, 2022 By Paula Lock Smyth

Children of all ages are generally upset when they find out their parents are getting a divorce. This is true even when they have heard their parents arguing and there is tension in the home. They do not want to experience the disruption of their family life as they know it.

A few exceptions may be if there have been issues of a parent’s addiction or domestic violence. In those cases, children may feel relieved, knowing that something is being done to make things more comfortable for them.

What Kids Want from Their Parents During a Divorce

Parents can provide their children with answers that may help them get through the divorce in as positive a way as possible. Children’s reactions are, of course, different depending on their age at the time of the divorce. Generally, children would like to know:

Kids and Parents Divorce
  • The truth about what will happen. They need to know more than just the parents are separating. They want to know what that means for them.
  • Where will they live? Will they move or stay in the family home they have known?
  • Will they have to change schools? If so, where is their new school?
  • What will happen to their group of friends?
  • What about their extracurricular activities? Dance lessons? Music lessons? Soccer and other team sports?
  • How much time will they spend with the other parent?
  • Whether or not they get a say in where they live. Can they choose which parent they want to live with? Although children ages 12 and over may talk to a Judge and express their opinion in the divorce, children need to know that the Judge makes the final decision based on all the evidence and what they believe is in the best interest of the children. This fact is hard for many children to accept

What Parents Need to Avoid

There are two major issues parents need to avoid with their children during a divorce or separation:

1) Children do not want to hear one parent say bad things about the other. Children realize that they are the product of those two parents. If one parent calls the other horrible and rotten, children may believe they also must be horrible and rotten. Or children may become aligned with one parent and then counseling may be needed to restore their relationship with the other parent.

2) Children should not be used as messengers between the parents. This is true even if the message involves simple things about a visitation arrangement. These arrangements should be made by the parents.

How a Collaborative Divorce Helps

In a collaborative divorce, parents have the assistance of a child therapist or mental health expert who helps the parents make the best decisions for their children.

Contact an Experienced Dallas Family Law Attorney for More Information About Divorce.

To schedule a free initial consultation with a Dallas Family Law Attorney, contact Paula Lock Smyth Law Offices at 214-420-1800.

Meet Paula Lock Smyth
Paula Lock Smyth

Paula Lock Smyth has practiced law in Texas since 1985, focusing on Family Law, Probate, Mediation, and Collaborative Divorce. She is a trained mediator, seasoned litigator, and one of the early adopters of Collaborative Divorce in Texas. Paula is a member of the State Bar of Texas, the College of the State Bar and the Texas Bar Foundation and has served as Past President of Dallas Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers. She was a Master in the Annette Stewart Inn of Court and is a Charter Member of the Collaborative Law Institute of Texas. Her legal knowledge and decades of experience make her a trusted voice on matters that impact families across Dallas and surrounding counties.

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Filed Under: Blog, Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Tagged With: Children, Parents

Paula Lock Smyth Law Offices

2911 Turtle Creek Blvd. Ste. 300
Dallas, Texas 75219

Phone: 214-420-1800
Fax: 214-420-1801

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Paula Lock Smyth Law Offices
2911 Turtle Creek Blvd. Ste. 300
Dallas, Texas 75219

Phone: 214-420-1800
Fax: 214-420-1801

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The contents of this website does not imply legal advise or counsel and does not establish an attorney/client relationship. Please contact us for information on our policies regarding any relationship with clients, potential clients, or non-clients of our firm.

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