Being able to manage anger during a divorce could make a world of difference in how the parties handle their divorce. Divorce is almost always an emotional process. A divorce means changing to a new way of living–maybe even getting a new address. Separating from your spouse also possibly means less frequent involvement with your children. The anger during a divorce can stem from many factors:
- Relationship problems can bring about anger.
- Stress from the changes resulting from your divorce and separation will likely affect your mood, too.
- Anger issues may even be the cause of the divorce.
Whatever the reason, you and your spouse must find constructive ways to handle anger. The solution also depends on the level of anger. Here are some suggestions and ideas:
Talk to someone about your problems
Anger is an emotion we’re all born with. Just don’t let the situation and temporary feelings get out of hand—letting your anger control you could cause you to do something you regret. If your anger is moderate, talk or vent to someone you trust. Maybe speak with a close friend, loved one, or your pastor (religious leader). Just be cautious not to compromise your case by sharing confidential information to anyone but your attorney.
If your anger level is beyond moderate, it’s time to get help. Find a trained professional skilled at dealing with anger problems. This can be a counselor, therapist, mental health professional or anger management counselor. If the other party is experiencing anger issues, find someone to step in. Keep safety in mind, avoid violence and report any incidents to the proper authorities.
Manage anger in a positive way
Fill your days with uplifting activities to shift your mood. Try to get lots of restorative rest. Learn to relax in a healthy way by practicing yoga or meditation. Blow off steam by physical exercises like running or boxing. Devote time to your hobbies, play games, or spend time with friends. Make your surroundings positive and keep toxic people and conversation out of your physical and mental space.
Each of these suggestions will help build your resilience, which is an important asset to have in handling the stress of a separation or divorce and in building your and your children’s future.
Consider a Collaborative Divorce
Collaborative Divorce is the best way to manage anger during the divorce process. It focuses on the best interest of the parties, especially the children. A communications facilitator, who is also a trained professional counselor, participates and can help manage the emotions that at some point usually arise during a divorce. If you’re dealing with anger during your divorce process, take action to eliminate it. Stay positive, reduce stress, and use a team approach, which is possible with the collaborative divorce process.