You may think that being friends after divorce with your ex is impossible. There was a time not too long ago when such an idea was scoffed at. By the time the litigation process was over, the exes, who had battled each other in court, carried emotions with them after the process was over that often made it almost impossible for them to even be civil to each other.
Now, as more and more couples choose to participate in collaborative divorce, instead of a drawn-out litigation battle, they are able to continue their lives after divorce by dealing with each other as friends. If not actual friends, at least with civility and not animosity.
Being friends is particularly important for couples who have children. They must continue the “business” of raising the children together. If they choose to go through the divorce process collaboratively, they have a much easier time getting over the emotional aspect of the divorce and moving on with their lives. This enables to them to be co-parents to the children while at least being civil toward each other.
Advantages of a Collaborative Divorce
A collaborative divorce puts decision-making into the hands of the divorcing couple. Instead of fighting each other in an often emotionally charged and expensive litigation process, they work together to make important decisions for themselves and their family. They are guided by their attorneys, and often, a “team” comprised of a mental health professional, financial advisor, or other professional, who all work together to help the spouses resolve their issues collaboratively instead of airing their dirty laundry in the public setting of the courtroom.
The collaborative team gets together in a series of meetings and handles issues as they arise. Decisions are made by the couple with input from all members of the team. Since the couple is in charge, not the attorneys and not the court, when the process is over, and the couple are officially divorced, they can continue working together for the sake of the children without the anger and resentment that often sets in after contested litigation.