The holiday season often presents problems with divorced parents. If they are unable to put aside their differences and either be together with their children or work out an agreement, they will need to follow the court’s standard possession schedule for the holidays.
The Court’s Standard Holiday Possession Order
Courts divide Christmas school vacation for the children into two periods. The first period starts on the day school is released for the holiday and ends on December 28. The second period is from December 28 until the day before school resumes. The years alternate. If you have possession this year for the first period, next year you will have possession for the second period.
As for Thanksgiving, the standard possession order gives the parent who has the children for the second half of the Christmas holiday season possession on Thanksgiving school vacation.
Do Not Be Alone
Try not to isolate during the holiday time when your child or children are with their other parent. Spend time with your family or friends. Avoid spending most of this time alone since that will only stir up memories of times past that can be painful.
Be Positive When Communicating with Your Children About the Holidays
No matter how sad you may feel about sending your children off to the other parent’s home for holiday time, encourage your children to have a good time. Do not criticize or disparage the other parent.
Do not lay a guilt trip on your children while they are with the other parent. Do not frequently call and say things like, “I wish you could be here with me.” Even though that is the truth, it conveys a sense of guilt to a child who should be feeling good about enjoying holiday time with their other parent.
Stay as upbeat and encouraging as possible. Allow them to share with you positive events they are enthusiastic about without disparaging the other parent and without making the children feel guilty that they got to do something fun that did not include you.