You may want distance from your former spouse, but maintaining a functional relationship supports your children’s well-being long after the divorce is final. A cooperative approach helps lower tension, makes co-parenting easier, and keeps the focus on raising happy and healthy kids instead of fueling conflict.
Why You Still Need a Functional Relationship with Your Ex
It is completely understandable if you feel ready to move on and limit contact with your former spouse. Even so, if you share children, your connection does not end just because the marriage does. You will see each other at school events, graduations, and future milestones. You may also find yourself around their new spouse at weddings or celebrations involving adult children or grandchildren. These moments can be uncomfortable, but they can be managed when you maintain a cooperative approach.
Another reason to preserve a workable relationship is the possibility of going to court. Hopefully, you will not find yourself in that situation, but if you do, the judge will consider how you support your child’s relationship with the other parent. Repeatedly referring to “my child” instead of “our child” can create a poor impression and send the message that you are unwilling to co-parent as a team. Pro tip: allow your child to have a picture of their other parent in your house.
Why Co Parenting Feels Different After Separation
Co-parenting across two households is quite different from living under the same roof. When you lived together, you could see what was happening each day with your child. Once you separate, emotions often rise and it becomes easier to feel suspicious or uneasy about what takes place in the other home. Misunderstandings can grow quickly when communication breaks down.
Keeping communication respectful helps reduce these concerns. Children feel more secure when their parents speak respectfully about each other and avoid attacking one another. When both households are working toward the same purpose, children experience a smoother transition and feel more supported.
How Collaborative Divorce Supports Healthy Co-Parenting
Choosing a Collaborative Divorce can help you and your former spouse learn tools that support calmer interaction. The process encourages productive communication and reduces the likelihood of mudslinging that can harm both parents and children. Collaborative Divorce also teaches skills that help you work together as co-parents, even if your marriage has ended.
Children sometimes try to play parents against each other by claiming one household has more liberal rules than the other. A cooperative approach makes it easier to avoid that pattern. When you and your co-parent present a consistent approach, your children will benefit.
Contact Paula Lock Smyth Law Offices
If you want a healthier way to move forward after divorce, Paula Lock Smyth Law Offices can help you explore options that support your children’s well-being and reduce tension. You will receive guidance designed to keep communication calmer and more productive as your family adjusts to new routines. To schedule a consultation, call 214-420-1800 or contact us online.
Our office is located at 2911 Turtle Creek Blvd., Suite 300, Dallas, TX 75219.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I truly want no contact with my ex?
If you share children, some communication will still be necessary. You should set strong boundaries that protect your peace while keeping the focus on your children.
Will a judge expect me to get along with my ex?
A judge does not expect you and your former spouse to be BFFs. The court looks for cooperation, respect, and a willingness to support your child’s relationship with the other parent.
What if my ex refuses to cooperate?
You cannot control their behavior, but you can control your response. It’s best to take steps to stay calm and child focused. Professional guidance or a collaborative approach can help.
Paula Lock Smyth has practiced law in Texas since 1985, focusing on Family Law, Probate, Mediation, and Collaborative Divorce. She is a trained mediator, seasoned litigator, and one of the early adopters of Collaborative Divorce in Texas. Paula is a member of the State Bar of Texas, the College of the State Bar and the Texas Bar Foundation and has served as Past President of Dallas Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers. She was a Master in the Annette Stewart Inn of Court and is a Charter Member of the Collaborative Law Institute of Texas. Her legal knowledge and decades of experience make her a trusted voice on matters that impact families across Dallas and surrounding counties.